Sunday, April 13, 2008

meeting with the past.......

As the bus stopped at the vip road. Seema took the bus and sat at a comfortable place beside an old lady who was sleeping in an exhausting manner. She sat there, kept her bag beside a little space and was pondering about how pace fully this one and half years have passed. How easily it took a second to had a break up with her boyfriend sameer.She was just being nostalgic and was drowned in the river of thoughts of those special days, the curiosity of being in love, talking on the phone at midnights, hanging out at cinema halls hand in hand staring at each other for hours. But now she is an independent girl whose work doesn’t allow her to indulge in any sort of relationship or a time to enjoy with her friends. As the bus was moving at high speed she came back to her present boring world, where hard work and money was her only ambition to make her family feel proud of her was the only goal left in her life and how drastically she has changed after her break up, how stupid she was to waste money for shopping and all, because she didn’t earned at that point of time but now she understands, values and respect the every single penny she earns. It was indeed a hot evening and every single person in the bus was sweating or sleeping due to such traffic jam and when the bus reached the dumdum park then a guy dressed in a white shirt and blue jeans took the bus and sat beside seema in a window seat. That guy was none other then his ex boyfriend sameer. Unfortunately sameer was too busy to have a look on people in the bus. But after seeing her same old boyfriend, Seema tried to hide her face so as to ignore the boy who was his only desire in life at some point of life. The cell phone of sameer was ringing and he picked it up in a clumsy manner.

Sameer- “hello, sweetheart I am about to reach there”

Sameer-I am waiting to see your beautiful face honey” and then his eyes met with his past.he disconnected the phone and was feeling quite nervous and shocked.

Seema was shocked too. She didn’t imagine that her love can easily accept and adore any other girl rather than her. How effected she was, and how unaffected by his earlier relationship he was,

Hello seema.said sameer.

Hi.said seema.

So how’s life going? Asked sameer.

Just living with the memoirs of my love.

That sarcasm, echoed in sameer’s ears.

He felt so embarrassed that he was willing to leave the bus, but he didn’t.

Sameer was spellbound to see how beautiful seema was looking and seema on the other hand was ashamed to even recognize that promiscuous man.

After few minutes later they both left the bus at the same stop and in the same restaurant was sameer having a silent conversation with his new girlfriend radhika but his eyes were fixed on seema.

And alone there was seema working as a manager in that restaurant…

7 comments:

huzefa said...

hmmm..........nyc

unpretentious_diva said...

seema seemed to be a fool.

How can a person make a choice to accept or reject something and feel bad for it laters.
We make conscious choices and we accept embrace them with open clear heart.

There was no need for sameer to be shied or feel embarrassed or ashamed whatever, his this attitude proves his unfaithfulness towards radhika.

none of the main characters (sameer and seema) is strong and praiseworthy and radhika is not being discussed well.

anyways, the story wasn't worthy to be read.

Arjun said...

it's certainy not as bad as the person above said....
though it could have been more crisp and different....
in this present world , it's difficult to imagine someone like seema...
would like to see something different next time....
i still say , u r very good for ur age...

cheers..!!
Arjun

~~Benjaxx~~ said...

Not bad. Work on the grammar, though.

Expecting better stuff from you!

Cheers!
=)

sourav said...

@benjaxx

i guess now there is nothing wrong with the grammar.anyways thanks for mentioning it.

Matangi Mawley said...

I wish to be honest.

I thought the plot was excellent. It could ve been presented a little differently, which would ve made it a lot more beautiful. That is, a little more abstract is what i mean. Sometimes, u neednt explain everything. let the reader read u'r mind. let him interpret. for example.. u ve said.. "guy in white shirt n jeans.. none other thn sameer.."
here, "none other thn sameer" could ve been avoided. instead smething like.. " the familiarity of the figure tht approached her.. put her in.. " smethin like tht.. rest- again- a beautiful plot.

secondly, i see ppl saying seema kind of characters don't exist. tht is not true. she s the most commonly found characters around. only ppl don't want to accept the seema in them. so there was nothin wrong with characterisation. u only need to work on presentation. tht is, u say she s independent. so, u need to maintain tht. tht is, an independent woman is independent even of the thoughts of her ex- boyfriend. she thinks of the past bt not sorry for it. so whn she meets sameer again- she souldnt have said.. "living with memoirs of love" kind of things. for an independent woman doesnt think so.

u write very well sourav. jst concentrate on presentation n integrity of characters a bit. u ll be gr8!

Roshni said...

I think that your plot was superb and the description of the bus scene was splendid.The way you have written ur story points to the fact that you do have an eye for detail.Keep up the good work,improve on your grammatical skills.